Chapter 69
Ah, one of my favorite chapters. An awkward chapter to be sure, but one with many benefits. Chapter 68 was all about "I get mine and I owe you one." But this chapter lives up to its billing, and then some.
When chapter 68 first met chapter 69 there was a flurry of subtle investigations. They nosed around each other cautiously, like two prize fighters in the first round. Then as these two chapters began to fully comprehend and compromise each other, there developed a mutually-agreed-upon set of arrangements. Chapter 68 had his place, and chapter 69 had his.
But out of this accord there grew a resentment. On the surface there was a status quo of sorts. Underneath, however, there was animosity, bitterness, strife. One chapter checked on the other and vice versa. Their sneaking around virtually never stopped.
One day, chapter 69 saw chapter 68 talking surreptitiously with chapter 54. This was completely out of sequence. Chapter 69 confronted chapter 68. "I was just getting mine," was all chapter 68 could say.
"Tomes will hear of this," chapter 69 threatened.
"If you're actually content with the way things are in your section of this work, then why are you so concerned with the way I'm handling things in my section?"
"I've never heard of a chapter getting defensive before. Why don't you just tell me what you and chapter 54 were discussing."
"Chapter 54 is a personal friend of mine. It's really none of your business. But if you must know, we were discussing what chapter 86 and a certain other unnumbered chapter were doing out around the jacket at 7:42 pm yesterday," blurted Chapter 68, accusingly arching his eyebrows.
"Chapter 86 was on her way out. I was merely helping her out."
"Oh, you admit it then."
"It was all within the boundaries of numerical symbology," chapter 69 explained. "She was leaving, and I was merely helping her out."
And so it went. Both chapters were inextricably linked to each other, and yet they were as different as different could be. Chapter 49 heard about the conflict and told chapter 27. Chapter 27 told chapter 22, head of Chapter Relations; he wasn't concerned at first, citing normal chapter attrition. But the next day, after chapter 27 reiterated his apprehensions, chapter 22 finally agreed to a conference with chapter 51, who was the mediator/representative chapter for that entire section. If chapter 22 deemed the incidents to be of a relevant nature, then chapter 6, the Plot Manager, would be notified.
At the conference there would be six chapters: chapters 22 and 51, the hosts; chapters 68 and 69, the adversaries; and a personal overseer, or "second," for each of the adversaries. Chapter 69 quickly chose chapter 86 as his overseer, but chapter 68 had a more difficult time finding an overseer. He phoned chapter 42, but could only leave a message on her answering machine, to which there was no reply. Chapter 68 then asked chapter 58, this time in person, and all he got for a response was a wafting of Armani Mania after she slammed the door in his face. Chapter 68 was becoming a little unsettled. Not panicky, just a bit uneasy. Chapter 68 figured chapter 67 was a sure bet, if for no other reason than proximity.
"What?" exclaimed chapter 67, throwing back her angry hair. "You want me to do what for you?"
"Look, I know you're probably still a little sore over the way I treated you at the--"
"A little sore! You must be joking. You don't really expect me to help you after what you did to me," said chapter 67.
"No, but you must. Can't you see--"
"Listen, 68: you owe me. You got yours and now you owe me one."
"But you're the one before me. You must help."
"Not until you pay me back for the last one. Now, if you'll excuse me--"
"But--"
"Please. I will thank you to join chapter 86 on her way out," chapter 67 requested.
"But she's going out with 69. And she's going out permanently."
"That's none of my concern. Now, if you'll kindly sidle or step or sciolistically scamper away..."
So chapter 68 was in a bind. No chapters would help him; most wouldn't even return his calls. Chapter 68's status had been elevated to "desperate," and he had no one to blame but himself. "If only I'd been more reciprocal, then these problems wouldn't be mounting," thought chapter 68.
"You're having a mounting problem?" asked a seriously tall and monolithic presence.
"Why... chapter 1. What are you doing here? And how can you read my thoughts?"
"Oh, it comes with being the primary chapter I suppose. Never mind that though, we need to find you an overseer. Your conference will not wait."
"But chapter 1, you have so many urgent concerns. How can you trouble yourself with such a petty issue?"
"Any conflict between or among my subsequent chapters is of major importance to me. The chapters who follow me are reflections of me, and not merely afterthoughts. We're a team, we chapters, and we must function as a team. Tomes has it that way."
"Tell me of Tomes. I've heard so many rumors, so many unsubstantiated reports. What is Tomes? Who is Tomes?" chapter 68 asked with childlike enthusiasm.
And so chapters 1 and 68 discussed for a long time. Gradually, chapter 68 began to feel the team concept for himself. Chapter 68 had at first felt quite a distance between himself and the primary chapter, but he soon began to understand this distance to be an ideological construct, and a false one at that. "In many ways we are one and the same," chapter 1 illustrated.
"You don't say," said chapter 68.
"Well, actually, I don't 'say.' Rather, I am written. And you are too. Can't you feel it?" asked chapter 1.
"Feel what?"
"Why, the transmogrification, of course."
"No. I never feel transmogrifications. They just happen, I guess, and other chapters tell me about them. But I've never felt one." Chapter 68 shrugged his square shoulders.
"And you wonder why no one will oversee for you at the conference. All along you've been getting yours and owing others theirs. Isn't it about time you felt the transmogrification?"
"But what form would it take? In other words, how will I know if there's been any transmogrifying going on?"
"Maybe you should ask chapter 69," chapter 1 recommended.
"Maybe I will," said chapter 68. "Maybe I will."