Yahoo! News Headlines, Saturday July 30th:
Astronauts test shuttle repair techniques
Bombing suspect interrogated in Italy
Two British contractors killed in Iraq
President Bush gets annual physical exam
Lightning strike turns Scout hike tragic
States move on sex offender GPS tracking
Soldier in Iraq records country-music hit
So whaddya think?--slow news day? I think not. I think something big is brewing.
I don't know what, but it's pretty big. Why else would we need to hear about, oh I dunno, landing on Mars, hmm? Or no, landing on the moon. Or better yet, how about a vehicle that can travel to outer space. Hey, there you go! Wow, that's amazing, isn't it? They've got this new shuttle thing that can actually leave our atmosphere. Completely. Wow. And here's a spanner that can twist these nuts so it'll fly more safely. Wow, how important. Almost as important as that rubber glove.
Or maybe we can excitedly wrap GPS anklets on the new commies: sex offenders. That way we'll always know where they can be reached.
Or wait: the other new commies need our attention: the terrorists. Turns out they've been poking around Big Ben, asking him what time it is and then leaving in a wafting of smoke.
Smoke and mirrors more like it.
When the headlines get all puffy like this I know something's going down. Mark my words. July 30th, 2005. There are some big troop movements happening right now, or some serious negotiations over the price of oil, something.
Oh, by the way, Snoogs? Yep, still missing. She came home for a few days, then took off again. Will keep y'all posted. Peace out.
"Hi, I'm Mr. Monium. Mr. Panda Monium. Have you heard the latest? Yes, my wife's having a baby... Oh, it's front page news, nationwide. But... but you're out of the loop? You didn't know? Tsk tsk."