While revitalizing his van, during breaks, I happened to catch some of The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic channel last week over at Duane's crib. (Actually it's his pop's crib; after his divorce Duane moved back home... "temporarily.")
Pretty good show, and though the following might reside all in my head, I'm certain the sage whisperings of Cesar Millan aren't meant solely for the ears of canines. We're being trained, too. Not that that's a bad thing. Millan subtly encourages us to forget the past by demonstrating how easily dogs can forget. For instance, the Dog Whisperer asserts that since dogs "can't" remember what they did ten seconds ago, trainers shouldn't waste their breath praising/scolding a target behavior if they can't do so within ten seconds following that behavior.
How this relates to us is that while it's nice to remember (with the lights off) how pointedly that wily cornice juts, it's rather unfortunate if we find ourselves obsessively dredging up old failures, only to again and again find that each successive disinterment results in nothing constructive, nothing even soothing.
That's all fine and dandy, but the herb wouldn't squander his time or yours... if there weren't more.
For starters, I have a few quibbles--no, it's a full-fledged "qualm"--with Millan's whole "pack leader" mantra. Like it's soooo important that the human absolutely has to lead the way, as if the human knew where all the good places to pee were. I mean, come on. Good leadership often involves letting others lead. At corporations with tiered levels of management, competency at delegating authority is make or break.
What I'm trying to say is I had to take a step back. And yes, I have extensively contemplated his show. So many of Millan's training techniques are so spot on that it makes it all the more jarring to encounter a clunker.
I asked myself again and again, Why this inconsistency?
Finally, I saw the parallel: since his psychology can be helpful for not only dog trainers but all Americans, I'm thinking certain television programmers have been led to believe that we Americans need to be trained to be pack leaders of the entire world. For the same reason it's safe to assume that payola surely reached the pockets of those who could have pulled the plug on American's Most Wanted when their ratings went in the crapper, I think it's entirely possible that certain execs in the Dog Whisperer family are being paid off... just so long as they continue to broadcast the right message.
On the Dog Whisperer show it's all about not letting the undesirable behavior escalate beyond its initial overtures. If you don't want your dog to bite, stop it before it escalates, stop it at the growl, then stop it at the grimace. The pack leader nips everything he doesn't like in the bud.
If this show truly is a template for how--as pack leaders of the whole world--we Americans are to act, how should we behave in, for instance, Iraq?
"a few more of these necklaces and my neck will stretch"
We don't want it to escalate. Well, then it's "...not an escalation." What is it then? "It's an augmentation." So, let me get this straight, Condoleeza: 21,500 more soldiers have now been added to the theatre in Iraq, but it's not an escalation? "No, it's an augmentation." So, we're talking same number of troops, but they'll be burlier, more barrel-chested?
Wait. Hold on. Dawn's got me running for something.
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Nevermind all that. Had an actual situation here. And I missed it. Most of it anyway. Dawn told me to come to the front room, but instead of obeying I stooopidly said something smart, like I was updating my hot MySpace page or my HerblogŪ.
Then, like a minute later, she yelled, "Get your butt in here!"
So I jogged to where she stood and, at her beckoning, peeked around our plantation blinds. And just glimpsed the back end of Kevin's sedan, right before it disappeared around the corner.
"I thought you'd be interested. I saw him there earlier and--"
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" I interrupted.
"I didn't know. It was just some guy. He was just... I didn't pay attention at first. Hello! I was busy making your dinner, Herbert. You know how you get."
"I, Dawn... It's no big deal." I exhaled. "Are you sure-- You saw a guy driving, right?"
"It was a man. He was there like fifteen minutes. Just parked out front, just sitting there. I didn't think anything of it at first, but then I-- That was salsa guy, wasn't it?"
FORWARD to what happened next
BACK to where salsa makes his first appearance
OVER to HerbNation HOMEPAGE