Though I've been simulating the behavior of someone who actually has a life lately (which is to say, I haven't had as much time to tail the principles), last week there was a sighting of the sombrero guy, if it were him (probably was). To view what happened, type [http : // herboverstreet dot com / 1%20a%20superstore%2041 dot htm] into your search bar without touching your space bar; also, replace "dot" with a period. As you may surmise, I plan to keep that update "off the record" because... well, it's a little self-incriminating.
Other than that, not much to report.
Except for the cows.
We, Dawn and I, went for a spin this past weekend. Motored by a field of cows. And it happened again. One of them was going to the bathroom.
What I'd like to know is how come I can't ever drive by a herd of cattle, cows (whatever they're called) and not see at least one of them urinating or defecating?
Here are the exact variables. Vehicle speed is such that viewing time is less than 5 seconds. And it's just a glance, with indifference--no staring, no purposeful viewing. I'm driving by, I glance over, if there're more than 19 cows, one of them has to be peeing or pooping. There's none of this "looking back," no "continuing to examine for bathroom-activity if I still haven't spotted a urinator after a casual glance"; no, none of that. Just an innocent gander while going for a relaxing Sunday drive.
And we're talking daylight hours of course (I don't use my night-vision binoculars during Sunday drives).
So here's the experiment: I drive by and check out the cows for less than five seconds, viewer #2 drives by immediately after I do and catches the tail end of the same event, viewer #3 drives by immediately after #2's five seconds have elapsed, sees a different cow shaking the dew off, viewer #4 immediately follows #3, notices tail end of second cow's restroom activities, et cetera.
What I'm saying is this: if there were a continuous stream of observers, each of us driving by a field of at least 20 cows, and we all looked their way briefly and saw the same thing I always see--one of them going to the bathroom--this would mean that each cow--or steer--either urinates or defecates once every 3.3 minutes, approximately.*
And they keep this pace up all day long.
I don't think so.
Here's my theory. They do it on purpose. These cows hear us approaching in our vehicles and they want us to see them taking a dump. If they don't hear any traffic, they hold it in.
What, I'm wrong? Can you think of a better explanation?
FORWARD to what happened next
BACK to the beginning of this whole Wal~Mart incident
OVER to HerbNation HOMEPAGE
*I'm thinking typical herd size when this "phenomenon" has caught my eye is 20 to 30 cows, which means each cow uses the facilities approximately once every 3.3 minutes to 5 minutes; of course when I've driven past larger herds I've seen rampant bathroom activity; and it's not really a "phenomenon," hence the quote marks, 'cause I swear it happens every time.